fully saturated in Roller Derby

Ok, so I missed my team captains and good friend DJ Pain's birthday party due to that fact of  4 SkateCourt inquiries coming to me while I was at my nephews birthday dinner.  I feel like a bit of a dud  having to go home and work on a Friday night but ultimately that is what will make me succeed not only with SkateCourt but with roller derby in general. I always pa-rouse facebook of some of my fav derby girls looking for inspiration, one of my favs is Krissy Crash. She always has a positive outlook and a perseverance that makes me wanna keep moving forward. Everytime I check her blog and see that she is getting up at 7 am running a boot camp am workout, running her Derbalife empire and being one of the top LA Derby Dolls, I set my alarm early and make sure my ass is at the gym in the am. I am currently spending close to 20 hrs a week on my training, thats a part-time job. Just staying focused and driven is a continual battle, but as with anything if you want it bad enough and are willing  to sacrifice for it nothing is impossible. Its just hard putting those priorities in check, Roller derby sustains me as who I am, as a creative and aggressive outlet. It also gives me the biggest headache, if I cant figure out a play or have problems executing a move, or am annoyed with my coaches, practice or teammates. It goes back to old school perseverance but at what point does the insanity rule apply. You know the "if you keep doing the same thing and expecting different results" you are insane. WHAT IS THE BALANCE????? How can something uplift and torment you all at the same time? am I the only one who feels this way? AHHHHHH -BTW gotham vs la tonight 10pm est, 7pm pst on DNN
randi maehym